72 minutes on the treadmill. It's amazing how time flies when you've got a TV in front of you. At first I didn't think things were going to go so well because one of the girls occupying the other treadmill had Sex In the City blasting on a TV and it was more than I could bear. I mean, it was all...sex. Okay, okay, so the show should be about sex because it's in the name, but c'mon! This show was a big hit?? It must've been a big hit among the women who find romance novels entertaining--as he slowly walked across the room, she could see his deep, piercing green eyes evading hers. It was as if in a dream, yet she knew in her heart he felt the same way--c'mon!!! Anyone can write that junk! I just can't believe some people find substance in that show...meanwhile I was blasting my No Doubt's hits album on my CD player--yes, we Christians listen to secular music from time to time.
Anyway, so I met my goal tonight and I'm feeling pretty dang good...pretty dang tired, but pretty good.
So on to things of more substance...
Since I have no accountability partner, I'm going to journal things to myself knowing others are reading this so in essence, I have not only an accountability partner, I have an accountability club. Would you agree?
I've been trying to read my Bible more, pray and get a little more centered and balanced like the "old Jen" used to be. It's not that I've changed drastically, but it's amazing how your routine is thrown off in a matter of months and this is all about priorities. Being in a relationship is truly a great blessing from God and to find the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with, well, all I can say is that I couldn't be happier if I tried. However, just like anything else, it's all about balance and moderation and I know I haven't done a good job of that and God has really been speaking into my heart about it. And man, when it rains, it pours! God's also been speaking to me about temptations (in my Purpose Driven Life book), money (Acts)and faith (Acts). I want so badly to be what God wants me to be, to make the right choices every time, but man, I suck at being a Christian sometimes, you know?
I was listening to an Christian AM station this morning here in Tucson and Tony Evans was speaking at a Promise Keepers convention in 1995 in LA. He was so passionate about motivating the men to live for God, use what they're doing--their jobs--and look at it as being a messenger and be bold, not a closet-Christian or a "secret agent Christian." Later, James Dobson was saying that the one complaint he always heard from the women he spoke with was that they wished their husbands would be the spiritual leaders of the household that they were meant to be. How beautiful it is to see a family that is in balance with what God wants for them to do! I can't tell you how many families in my church just make me want to cry with joy to see how they love and support one another, and how the husband and wife function as the spiritual role models and really support one another in that way with the kids and their relationships.
I think it's so easy in this stage that I'm in, to just be so wrapped up in my "new" love that I forget about my forever true love, Jesus Christ. I mean, if something were to happen, Christ would always be there. So anyway, I've been convicted about my dependency on God and my faithfulness to God in this stage and even after in my marriage.

Let me drink your water of Life,
Let me sit near your throne in awe,
Let me pour out my tears on your feet,
And wipe them dry with my hair.
Let me give all that I have to you in my life,
And serve you with all that I have.

Let me fall in love with my Creator again,
Let your mercies cascade over me.
Let me come into your presence,
arms open wide
As you embrace me and hold me,
to your side.

I know I have deliberately disobeyed You
I know that I've spat in your face
I know that I've ignored your Words
When you spoke them deep into my heart.
I know you've had a great plan for me
You've whispered it into my life
And the times that I've turned and run from you
I only needed one step back to see

You're the one who I fell in love with years ago
And you're the one who's always been there
And whenever I turn and run from you
All that it takes is my prayer.

I've cried at your altar,
I've cried in the dark
I've cried for no reason
But for the burden on my heart.
I give you this pain,
This uneasiness, this worry
I give you this helplessness
This hunger, this yearning.
You've known it since the day that it became
And you'll know it on the day that it was.