Only You Could Know --j.g 8/2/04

Searching for the answers,
Grappling with defeat
The world seems so blurred,
How history does repeat.
Turning upside down and over
Again I look up at you and sigh
Things just seem so crazy
Without an answer to the why.

You saved me
But how?
If you love me
Why allow?

The pain it stirs so deeply
The poison slowly draws
I'm aching in my being
For you to slough off all the flaws.
My imperfect, dying being
Sits wrapped up in this shell
Tiredly crying out from the depths
To heal me and make me well.
Please take my hand and lead me
Beyond these briars, beyond the black
For I know the need is there
Though at times I've turned my back.
So easy to run and hide
Continue on as life takes its toll
Before long it seems I need no comfort
Nothing seems to make me whole.
I reach for empty meaning
Desire overtaking my heart
And I know that in this uncertainty
I've already done my part.
But I cry out to you again
From the core of my being
Please take this life and transform me
Give my life some meaning.
Praise quickly leaves me,
Her graces seem to fade
And pride only leaves me lonely
After all the compliments have been paid.
Selfish I have come
And helpless I will go
For time is not what I hold
It's something only you could know.