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Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Just got back from youth group and it was great tonight. I ran into an old friend I went to high school, church and all of the church conventions and camps with. It's such a crazy thing to me, how small this world really is. You never know who you'll run into. In fact, I ran into my first boyfriend the other day who told me he had run into my sister a few months ago and she had told him that I'd gotten engaged. So the first thing out of his mouth was "congratulations! I heard you got engaged!" It's funny to think back on those juvenile memories, you know? The awkwardness and the whole cheesy junior high thing of just holding hands to designate that you're "going out." I can't help but smile a little over that whole escapade. He was one of three boyfriends I've had in my entire life and really, the other one didn't count. And the last one counted the most ;)
Anyway, I affectionately refer to myself as "tangent Jen" from time to time and I'm sure it's very apparent why I call myself that, especially on this blog.
Tonight, as I drove home from the church, I couldn't help but have that feeling in my gut that I should just keep driving on a night like tonight. The sky is so dark and clear and yet there was a steady rain. I know a lot of people say you shouldn't be out driving when it's rainy or whatever, but for me, I feel like that's what I should be doing. Drive somewhere and just park and stare. Keep good ol' Norah Jones on and just cruise for a while. Feel like time is standing still, that the night will never end and responsibility will never again come knocking on your door. Reckless abandon, just keep driving until the gage reads "E" or the gaslight comes on. On a night such as this, I wish I owned a room that was just basically a box made of glass. I'd love to build one of those way out in the middle of nowhere...maybe put a lightning rod on top or whatever you have to do to keep from being struck...and just sit in there on a couch, wrapped up tightly in a comfy blanket looking around as the raindrops cascade down the sides and patter onto the roof. I've looked for a similar place in Mesa, but I don't think one even remotely close to that idea actually exists. How very disappointing. Someday I'll build a glass house in the middle of nowhere---a nowhere that's completely absent of any rocks or heavy, throwable objects that may ruin my perfect rainy place. My heart longs for that place of solitude in this moment. I can't see the rain from where I am--just the wall and a computer screen, a bookcase in my periphery.
Oh Norah, take me to my glass house! Keep the sunshine away for a few days and let me just lie there and stare at the sky and the rain and the tiny beads of water sticking to the sides of my house.
Anyone want to invest in a glass house in the middle of nowhere? We could partner up on it...I'd be willing to share my perfect rainy place as long as everyone stayed perfectly quiet. It'd be my perfectly quiet writing rainy place. I wonder if I could get wireless internet there...how expensive do you think that'd be? I bet I could find investors...
I'm going to retreat to my not-so-perfect rainy place, otherwise known as my single-window bedroom. I love it, but now it just doesn't measure up to my perfectly quiet writing rainy place in the middle of nowhere. But I'll survive and I'll keep dreaming and thinking about it.
A mi me encanta la lluvia y mi lugar de lluvia. En el futuro, tendre mi lugar de lluvia. Hasta.

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