My heart cries out to you and breaks,
Such familiarity, it hits so close.
I pray for you often, but not nearly enough
God please wake her up
I feel so helpless, as my tears pour
All I want is for her to be happy once more
Turning to so many other things to fix the ache
My heart cries out to you and breaks.
I want to reach out to you and grab ahold of you
Hug you and never let you go
So you can't hurt yourself again
So that I could be your friend
I wish I could save you
Take you away and bring you back anew
I wish you could have more cloudless days,
Less days full of night.
This helpless feeling overtakes me
Though it's not about me
God, why can't I do more???
What should I do?
I know you're the only one who can pull her through.
God, I know you give choices, but can't you see?
This child, she needs you, but how can it be?
That instead she's swirled in darkness.
God, what do I do?
Please help me, what do I do?

Lately I've been praying for someone special. Though I haven't had the time that I've wanted to spend with her, she's always been in my thoughts. Maybe I have a little bit of that knight in shining armor syndrome Obadiah is always talking about. Maybe I really understand how he must feel now. With all of my heart I want to help, but I don't know if there's anything I can do. When you teach yourself how to cope with pain or emotions in a negative way over years and years, it's a hard habit to break. I know all I can do is ask for God to intervene and lead me in the right direction if he wants me to do something and continue praying to him about all of this.
Tonight's show on the Real World (a show I hardly ever watch, especially on weekdays), someone found out that another cast member was cutting herself after going through a tough time emotionally. The girl went to a therapist. But who knows if she'll be "cured." I just don't know. It hurts, but I can tell you exactly where it hurts...only, sometimes I don't think the "someone special" I know, knows. I wish she could tell me, tell God just where it hurts.