Never giving up j.g 1/5/04

Torrential. Teeming.
I walk in its midst.
Pounding. Relentless.
I run with everything.
I can feel it overwhelming
Feel it rising up.
But I can't keep it from engulfing
From ensuing in each step.

Insecurity; my frailty
Charges after my forward steps
Repressing. Containing.
Attacking my weakness.
Weary, though I try
To rage against this machine of mine
My good-fortune-time is up
No more hubris amid the muck.
Still not there, no longer can I be
Nor fit the shape molded for me.
I turn to my hope, away from my humanity
Stirring something deep inside of me
My eyes blinded, my soul freed,
How I wish this would last, an infinite reprieve.
But my tightened fist around my friend called hope
Slips slightly with each and every reproach.
I'm here, caught up in an inner shell
Yearning for a reprieve from this nit-picky hell.
Never my way, no, just not good enough
Go on and tire the senses
Just never giving up.