So many times I struggle with future challenges. With change. With discovery. With adjustment. I struggle against the tides of fear that threaten to overtake me as I float along in the streams of life. But why do I float? Why can't I swim effortlessly like a dolphin and rise up every now and again to breathe and just be? It's only when I rely on that higher love and power I call Abba. My daddy. The one I neglect so often, who I tend to turn away from even when He is just reaching out to me.
This only brings to mind several poems I've written about this continuing struggle.

The Saving One 8/27/03
My repentant tears flow once again,
Torn over and over by this repetitive sin
I've defiled myself and alienated You,
Rejected Your goodness and Your truth,
I went on my way
Believing someday I'd pay,
Today as I fall on my knees and pray
Forgive me Lord for rejecting Your way
Help me back onto Your road once more
Release me of these sins as my tears pour
I do what i wish not to
Believing I'm strong enough to make it through
Yet time after time I realize again
That I need to lean on You my friend.
I can't stay standing under this load I've taken on
Lord I'm sorry, I was wrong.

You are the only one who can handle all of this,
I was fooling myself to think ignorance was bliss
Come into my heart and wipe away the blackness
Take away all the hopelessness and the sadness
Redeem me once again and whiten me as snow,
Turn my face toward Your radiating glow.
Help me onward down this road I travel on
Help me to keep my eyes on You, the Saving One.